Changing the Beaten Path: Villagers
What Type of Water Does Your Path Bring You?
Every day, the villagers walked down a long, winding path leading to a tiny, muddy creek where they fetched their daily water. The creek was small, dirty, and rarely had enough water to quench the thirst of everyone in the village. Still, the path was well-worn and easy to follow. For generations, the villagers had taken this same path so many times that it had formed a deep groove in the ground.
Despite their efforts, the villagers were constantly sick and always thirsty. The creek could not meet their needs, yet they had grown so accustomed to the long, exhausting journey and the unsatisfactory water that they didn’t know any other way of life.
One day, a young man passed through the village. The villagers, eager to be hospitable, offered him some water from the creek. To their surprise, he declined, saying he wasn't thirsty. The villagers were baffled. How could someone not be thirsty when they had lived with constant thirst for generations?
The young man explained that he drank from a freshwater river, a clear, nourishing stream that never ran dry. He told them the river was difficult to reach, but once they found it, it would be worth the effort. "You need to follow a different path," he said.
A different path? The villagers were skeptical. The elders mocked the young man. "You're crazy! This is the only water we've known. If we try a new path, we’ll surely perish."
Frustrated, the young man left.
Months later, the village children became gravely ill. Desperate to save them, the villagers remembered the young man’s promise of better water. They decided to try finding this freshwater river. But the journey wasn’t easy. The jungle was dense with trees and bushes, and the path was full of obstacles. At times, the villagers felt tempted to return to the well-worn path to the muddy creek, where at least they knew what to expect.
Yet, each time they did, the children grew sicker from the contaminated water. The villagers realized they had no choice but to continue searching.
Finally, after much struggle, the villagers found the river. It was even more beautiful and refreshing than the young man had described. They brought the water back to the village, and the children soon regained their health.
Over time, the villagers were tempted to return to the old, easy path. But each time they did, the muddy water only made their children ill again. Eventually, they made the decision to stop going to the creek altogether. The old path began to grow over, and the once-deep groove in the earth filled with soil.
The villagers’ new path, though difficult at first, became smoother with time, and their lives improved. The once-dreaded journey was now the path that sustained them.
The Analogy
I love analogies.
In this story, the villagers represent the family system, and the paths represent our actions and behaviors. The "groove" in the ground symbolizes how our actions become ingrained in our brains over time, forming what we call neural pathways. Often, we repeat behaviors that are unhealthy or destructive because we’re used to them and don’t know a better way. These learned behaviors are passed down from generation to generation.
For example, imagine that your parents often yelled at each other when they were upset. As a result, when you get frustrated, you might find yourself yelling at your spouse because that’s how you were taught to communicate. Your children witness this behavior and may carry it forward.
Changing the Path
The good news is that, just like the villagers, we can change our behaviors and our neural pathways. Although it’s difficult, it’s not impossible. Our brain's pathways aren't permanent. With effort, we can create new “grooves” that lead to healthier patterns.
But here's the catch: change doesn’t happen overnight. This is where many people struggle and become frustrated. It can feel tempting to revert to the familiar, easy path—the “muddy creek”—even though we know it’s not good for us. The comfort of what’s familiar can sometimes be stronger than the desire for something better.
Therapeutic techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help us find that "freshwater river." These therapies offer practical tools to change thought patterns, confront fears, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
The Takeaway
The villagers realized their old path was making their children sick. They understood that the risk of staying on that path was too great, so they chose to push through the challenges and find a better way. Over time, their new path became easier to walk, and their family was healed.
The journey to change can be tough and even scary. But when we look at where our old paths have led us—toward frustration, pain, or dissatisfaction—we can find the courage to make a change. We can choose to blaze a new trail, one that leads to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
So, I ask you: What type of water does your path bring you?
